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In a world where a mighty empire holds millions in its grasp, where wars are fought in both the arena and the bedroom and the rumblings of discontent are now echoed by the grumblings of a volcano, comes one man, made for this time.
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Now, from the director of "Resident Evil: Retribution"..No, that ad campaign doesn't really work, does it?Neither does "Pompeii," unfortunately, an epic without stars that staggers along as a bad version of "Spartacus" (the cable show, not even the movie) before turning into a videogame version of a disaster movie,(Download Pompeii Movie) all tiny running figures and big fiery projectiles.You might think that a volcanic eruption which destroyed a thriving city of about 20,000 (not to mention poor, disrespected Herculaneum) would be enough to hold the camera's attention. Would be enough of a catastrophe to fill a single film.
You witless barbarian.No, lava isn't enough for "Pompeii." We have to have earthquakes. Tidal waves. And a collision of `70s bad-movie cliches so massive and shameless, all that's missing is Charlton Heston as a brave centurion,(Download Pompeii Movie) or Richard Chamberlain as an evil Roman architect. (Or at least George Kennedy, as a lovable old gladiator.)Instead, though, we get Kit Harrington from "Game of Thrones," who looks like Eric Bana's much duller kid brother, and Emily Browning who doesn't look like much of anything except someone who has trouble keeping her toga modestly arranged.
He is a poor Celtic orphan sold into slavery; she is the spoiled daughter of a Pompeian real-estate developer.They meet cute when her carriage gets stuck in a muddy rut and he, kindly, breaks her horse's neck.(Download Pompeii Movie) (Don't ask.) And before you can save amor vincit omnia...Neither young star gives this dusty relic any life at all, however, and the surrounding players are definitely low on star power. Jared Harris and Carrie-Anne Moss play the mild maiden's parents; Kiefer Sutherland is the sibilant, and hissable Roman villain.
(Download Pompeii Movie) No one embarrasses themselves — well, at least Harris and Moss don't — but neither do they add the sort of knowing camp that you could always depend on John Dall or Peter Ustinov to insert in something like this. Instead they take this trash seriously.Audiences will have a harder time doing that, particularly when the director gives in to his cheap action-movie roots and love of excess. It's a spectacle all right — but mostly just of a lot of people,(Download Pompeii Movie) some of whom should know better, making an utter ash of themselves.Pompeii is a big, glorious, cheesy mess.
A fusion of Gladiator and Dante’s Peak, it can’t decide whether it wants to be an action film about coliseum combatants or a disaster flick. Predictably, by trying to be both, it ends up being good as neither.(Download Pompeii Movie) The movie is reminiscent of some of Hollywood’s bloated historical epics of the past, with Cleopatra coming to mind. In fact, Pompeii might be worthy of the dubious label of “guilty pleasure” if the truly awful 3-D didn’t dump it into the “hard to watch” category.
Pompeii unfolds in 79 AD. For anyone unaware that the volcano Vesuvius is about to erupt, director Paul W.S. Anderson makes sure that the mountain is visible in seemingly every shot. He populates the city with a series of thinly-drawn types. There’s the hunky young gladiator, Milo (Kit Harrington),(Download Pompeii Movie) who is driven by a thirst for revenge. Fellow arena fighter Atticus (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje) is one victory away from becoming a free man. Noblewoman Cassia (Emily Browning) has spurned the advances of the callous Senator Corvus (Kiefer Sutherland) and keeps casting meaningful soulful glances at Milo.
As for the Senator, he happens to be the evil man who put Milo’s parents to the sword. In a way, it seems a little pointless watching the struggles of these people play out since we know they’re all doomed. When it comes to dealing death, the mountain can’t be trumped.It seems that director Anderson,(Download Pompeii Movie) whose past credits include classics like Mortal Kombat, Resident Evil, and Aliens vs. Predator, fancies himself the next coming of James Cameron. The storyline follows the Titanic template and includes forbidden love between a low-class boy and a rich girl, a scenery-chewing villain with absolutely no redeeming qualities, and a big, special effects-rich disaster with genuine historical roots.
While the romantic elements of Pompeii never quite get off the ground - due in large part to the lack of scenes shared by the two leads - it’s fun to watch Vesuvius get all hot and bothered as it blows its stack and rains Wrath of God material all over the poor city. Apparently, the Roman deity Vulcan wasn’t happy with Pompeii.(Download Pompeii Movie) With the majority of the film’s budget having been invested on the special effects, there wasn’t anything left over to hire any big name actors. Kit Harrington is well-known to those who watch HBO’s Game of the Thrones, where he plays Jon Snow, and likely unfamiliar to everyone else.
He’s an Orlando Bloom type and not much acting is required of him here.Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje plays the stern veteran gladiator with just the right amount of dark humor and cynicism. Emily Browning doesn’t leave much of an impression in her Kate Winslet-inspired role. And Kiefer Sutherland,(Download Pompeii Movie) with a ridiculous accent, goes so far over the top that you need binoculars to see the apex of his ascent.Visually, the most notable negative to be laid at Pompeii’s feet is the hideous 3-D treatment.
Not only does the 3-D add little depth and definition but it darkens an already dim movie and makes everything look brown and murky.On one occasion,(Watch Pompeii Online) I took my glasses off to see if they were smudged. For anyone who wants to see this picture, 2-D would be the way to go.Pompeii offers pretty much what one would expect from a summer-type would-be blockbuster being dumped unceremoniously into theaters in February. Despite opening with genuine quotes from Pliny the Younger’s first-hand account, historical veracity is not one of Pompeii’s objectives.
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The cliché-riddled screenplay works as an homage to bad disaster movies and Anderson’s direction owes more than a passing debt to Michael Bay and Roland Emmerich.(Watch Pompeii Online) Ultimately, Pompeii isn’t juicy enough (nor will it be successful enough) to inspire a rash of copycat movies. Too bad, really. I was looking forward to Krakatoa.
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